The time I hid from someone...

This is actually quite sad.  My husbands parents went through a nasty divorce whilst I was pregnant with my eldest daughter, and naturally we got caught in the crossfire.  The relationship between us and his mom was strained, to say the least, for some time, although we were still seeing her occasionally and she came to see her first granddaughter in the hospital.  Things went from bad to worse when there was a huge confrontation between parents and children at the old family home, and we eventually cut contact with his mom. 

Shortly afterwards she visited our home whilst my husband was at work.  By nature I am not a confrontational person, and I couldn't face an argument with her, so I pretended to be out.  The problem was that I had a very young baby, plus my friend and her two toddlers in the flat, so I'm fairly sure we weren't quiet enough to make her think I was out.  I've often felt guilty about this ever since.  While it is true she was not a very nice person back then, in hindsight I can see why, and I completely understand why she was bitter and why she acted the way she did.  With the knowledge and  life experiences I have since gained, I can see that I hadn't looked closely enough at her situation to have given enough consideration to our reactions, but at the end of the day it was his parents and his decision, and I had enough to cope with having just had a baby.



The sad part is I am now extremely close to my mother-in-law, in fact I would say I am closer to her than to my own mother (another sad fact - but that's another story).  We made amends when my eldest was four, by which time my middle daughter was three, and she had missed out on all this time with her granddaughters. 

My mother in law was at the birth of my youngest daughter, who is now seven, and she has been a wonderful nanny to all three of them, and I think we have made up for lost time.  It still makes me sad to think of the lost years though, which I have told her (usually after a couple of glasses of red wine!) 

It is lovely being close to your mother-in-law, especially when she sticks up for me when HE is being difficult!

Star Books

I have a new business venture in my head! Whilst worrying about having to get another new bookcase for my ever expanding collection (helped by my sister in law who does not keep books once she's read them) and brewing up yet another cup of coffee (the beverage I live for) I came up with my ideal job; to run my own book/coffee shop. I know it's been done before but I would so love to do this myself. I am now planning it all in my head! What better way to spend my working days among things I really love, books and coffee. Have not decided yet whether it will be a second hand or new book shop, or what else I'll serve in addition to coffee! I just know I will be in heaven surrounded by books that I can sort into alphabetical order without people laughing at me for it (my sister in law again!)

Anyway, I left it too late to start blogging, and since I want to read some more (Great Expectations) and watch Lark Rise to Candleford before bed it's time I went...

Teenagers and alcohol

My 14 year old daughter went out with some friends today to a park. Whilst out they met another group of friends. One of the lads out with this other group of friends was extremely drunk, vomiting and 'choking' my daughter said. The friends that he had been with whilst getting into this state were running away from him as he was being sick. My daughter and her friend phoned an ambulance, looked after him till paramedics arrived, explained everything they knew, and after he had been taken to hospital, they went to his house to explain to his older sister (his parents were not home) what had happened.

I'm worried that teenagers who are obviously not old enough, and what is worse not mature enough, are getting into this state in parks in broad daylight and no-one else appeared to have done anything about it. I am however proud of my daughter for doing the right thing, even though I did ask her whether she or her friend had been drinking at all. I worry more about my 14 year old than my older daughter, she is the quieter one of my three, and I worry about 'middle child syndrome'. She doesn't talk to me as much as her big sister and keeps things to herself. Though I'm sad about the lad who made himself ill through alcohol, I was glad that my daughter came home and told me all about it, and that she showed maturity in her actions. Perhaps I need to trust her a bit more...

My 15 year old did a ten mile sponsored walk as part of her Duke of Edinburgh bronze award today, completing it in over an hour less than the expected time. Go Sophie! And the blisters didn't stop her going out tonight either. You know you're getting old when your children have much more interesting social lives than you!

My 7 year old, as always, has been my sunshine today, as I have not been out of the house all day (housework day...) I wish I could hold on to the innocence and beauty of having a young child forever but it is not to be, she just keeps growing, and getting cheekier and more independent!

I am really missing my husband tonight and really ought to be getting to sleep but can't. My youngest has a friend staying, so they will be up early in the morning, which means I will be too. Oh well, only two more sleeps till he's home, and as the old saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. No doubt he'll be driving me mad again by Wednesday!

Read an inspiring post today by Eternally Distracted, and I hope I haven't moaned too much in my blog as I know I am a very lucky person to have a healthy, happy, loving family and to have everything I need. Wants can wait...

First one...

Ooh, what do I do now then?! Never even read a blog before and don't know what I want to talk about yet, just thought I'd have a break from reading Mansfield Park and waffle about life for a bit. Going off to do some research about the Core Leadership Development Course that I've just signed up for in a minute. Might have a look around blogger first though...

Well I should really be thinking about going to sleep but hubby is working away and I don't sleep well when he's not here so I think I'll ramble for a bit then read till I can drift off. Tried to register to carry on my degree with an english literature course this week but missed the deadline so can't do it till October now. This is probably a good thing though since I have quite a lot to organise and sort out before I can really concentrate on studying. I really need to get into a better routine and stay on top of the mundane things, but that's the trouble, I'm fed up of mundane! Work gets me down a bit too, although the people are lovely the job itself is not stimulating enough, and I'm just bored, hence the return to study. The plan is to read all the set texts for the english literature course between now and October and be well prepared, which hopefully I will enjoy as there are a few I know I will like, and Frankenstein I studied for my A level so it will be like going back to an old friend. I can read the notes I made in my old copy! Need a hobby to last me until Spring when I can get going on the garden though, I'm a fairweather gardener, and although I can't wait for flowers and warmer days, I am not relishing digging over the vegetable beds to prepare them for planting. Back to Mansfield Park and the power of Jane Austen to help me go to sleep! Looking forward to reading Vanity Fair next... Night blogland.